I know I've been lazy about typing and finishing and posting these last three....
Always fear the man who is too afraid to say I love you
This is something for your hollow point lips to smoke on
I know how much they like the burn of the roach
Crawling from your flesh in ash covered words you toss me
When you feel like being “affectionate”
This is how you return my gifts of compliments
Within the parcel of a “you too”
As if they were damaged and refashioned for the sender
Sent carelessly beneath the sleepy loll of your eyes
I know the circumference of each lazy lash that blooms softly from your lids
I know the cane field of your back like a map to any comfort I harvested
Still taste each spice you flavored into the platters of my tongue
Named of every cloud we compressed into sweated air pockets between us
Have preserved the wings of every butterfly that fluttered along my skin
I pinned my fingers around each invisible tear that escaped your lips
I love you
As difficulty as every blind man has ever loved the misshaped honesty of his senses
As every fugitive has ever loved the twisted lie that set them free
I love you
Silently
Mournfully as if my soul is widowing itself from my affections
Wilting putrid beneath the caging darkness of my teeth
This is for every time you reminded me how often you don’t do this
For every excuse I molded into the pieces to complete this puzzle
For the lady I leave lying on the glassy reflection of your iris
This is my waist cinching harder beneath the corset of your ribs
The little girl crumpled like a fetus under the springs of your bed
For every time I could feel hope playing Russian roulette with your promises
For swallowed justification my clocks choked on each second you were late
I await the moment when the iron gate of your past is melted before our future
This is for songs hummed but never sung
Every I love you I tucked beneath the foaming waves of my lungs
Was vomited into this
So here it is
And I hate that I have to be the first one to say it because I know you’re too afraid
Because somehow my masterpiece has too gentle a nail
To be hung on the calcified walls of your heart
But I won’t let my honesty be spooled into some cloud of a dream
Be shredded by time blowing it in the wind like a question
I won’t let an alcohol flooded or smoke fogged mind
Wind these words into a forgotten footnote of a mistake
If I am to speak the introduction to this play
I hope you’ll repeat those first lines lining my eyes every time I look at yours
That maybe your adam’s apple will give way in your throat to your voice so it can
Tell me that you love me
And I know you like to say actions speak louder than words
But I am a poet and these are not words, this is love
